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Developing Resourcefulness

Most of my career has involved some form of providing leadership development solutions, including coaching executives from a wide range of industries. Soon after I began coaching, however, I noticed that regardless of how consistent I was in my approach of coaching someone or how open they were to the process, lasting changes weren’t always a given. I eventually came to realize that simply understanding one’s strengths and gaps, and having a desire to improve isn’t enough to ensure the kind of long-term behavioral changes that are necessary to consistently achieve better results. What I repeatedly observed was that the clients who achieved the most successful outcomes were also the clients who worked most consistently to improve their emotional self-awareness.

How we perceive ourselves and others happens in the present.

Our perceptions are formed continuously, from moment to moment. This process is so seamless that we often think of behaviors as being static, and that changing them should be as easy as flipping a switch. This is a mistaken perception because behaviors are formed by doing something repeatedly, over and over, one moment at a time. Being self-aware allows us to be present and to choose the most skillful behaviors to navigate our complex social landscape, taking into account both our own emotional needs as well as those of others.

Self-awareness is perhaps the most important tool for gaining access to our own agency, which is what we have control over at a most basic level, so that we can choose positive behavioral responses to the various situations we encounter in our lives on a moment-to-moment basis.